Helena's Story
Working within the capitalist system
ICI used to be an institution in the UK but when I moved to the North East in the early ‘00’s I experienced an industry in fast decline and a community carrying the consequences. Whilst not part of the fossil fuel industry, Uniqema, the last standing piece of ICI on the Wilton site at the time, was a high energy user as it was refining animal and vegetable fats to produce oleo chemicals. Fresh out of university I experienced first hand that there is no such thing as company loyalty. Within months of arriving, a significant number of my department, as well as others, were made redundant as Uniqema and ultimately ICI, prepared to sell out to the highest bidder. Five years, two mergers & acquisitions and many casualties later, I left in 2008, joining Lloyds TSB as the financial crisis hit.
Lloyds TSB proved little different. A long story short – two years, one M&A and many redundancies later as the corporate machinery spat people out to prioritise their bottom line, I resigned and started my journey away from capitalism.
When I Realised It Was Time to Leave
I have left jobs and projects several times as my own levels of denial have gradually been removed. Firstly with ICI and Lloyds as I understood I needed to get out of the claws of corporate culture and find something more in tune with my personal values. This initially led me to work in environmental sustainability as a consultant. And then I left again, realising that my consultancy services were more often than not facilitating my clients to continue with ‘business as usual.’ I was offering a service that enabled them to just pay better lip service to the environmental agenda, rather than making any significant impact. I’m continuing to walk away from any work at any time if I think I’m doing more harm than good.
What are you doing today?
The last 15 years have been a journey of discovery and gradually finding my own story, frequently straddling the zone between what is socially acceptable and what goes against the cultural grain. Now being in my mid 40’s there is no doubt in my mind that the modern economic model of neoliberalism is not only flawed, but outright dangerous. This means the opportunities for paid environmental work that is having a truly positive impact, are seriously limited. So for me the answer right now is to focus on our small family business, which is providing a space in North London for people to socialise and enjoy good quality wine, and setting up a lobby movement where through collaboration, we catalyse and leverage networks and initiatives to create a different future.
Parting Reflections
Probably the most important lesson I have learnt is that the stories that we are telling ourselves to perhaps stay in a job or maintain a certain lifestyle, are just that – stories. Often there to justify to ourselves that what we are doing is ok. I therefore think the challenge is to come up with a different story. Mine is one where I have finally accepted that we have run out of time to remain within any safe levels of warming, and retain much of the biodiversity once enjoyed. As unsettling as it is, it has liberated me. For the first time the choices I am making are based in reality.